20051028

... but they never ask why.

i can't stand liars - mind you, not fibbers, as some fibs can be funny or at least not mean-spirited. it's the balls-to-the-wall, i-obviously-have-no-respect-for-you-as-a-friend-or-at-all-type of liar i am speaking of here. it's the i-have-the-audacity-to-blatantly-lie-straight-to-your-face-without-any-regard-for-you-at-all-type... just so i'm clear. i guess that it's probably because i am a trusting person, particularly with the people i consider friends. i believe what people tell me because i shouldn't have any reason to distrust them. is that so wrong? that i would [once again] believe that people are inherently good and that they aren't all scum-bags and bastards and - well, you get my point. apparently so, because i somehow end up getting the short end of the stick in a lot of i-could-be-honest-with-you-but-i-can't-seem-to-make-myself-care situations. [note: i do sincerely apologize for the excessive use of hyphenation here, but i'm slightly pissed - no, i'm really pissed - and they seem to be working for me.]

that's the other thing: i actually felt bad for being angry... and i have every bleeding right to be angry that someone i consider a fairly good friend would flat-out lie to me. not once, mind you. many, many times. i think, most of all, i feel disrespected... maybe even slightly humiliated... i suppose that i just have to accept that people can be bastards and then move on... because i'm done being a fucking doormat. done.

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