20050713

listen to the music. everything else is just... silence.

new chapter and whatnot... i've just finished moving into my new apartment in fayetteville... i have to admit that two years of living in a house has spoiled me just a bit - what with all the extra space, front yard and not having noisy neighbors and such. complete with my new apartment package, i also have the added privilege of living directly across the street from fayetteville's seemingly most happenin' club - studio 716 - with the bonus of thumping beats to keep me awake at night... sleep's overrated, right? yeah, that's what i thought...

having not posted in an exorbitant amount of time, i've been pressuring myself to write something brilliant - something i rarely do, much less under the added self-pressure. so this is basically it - i'm here... barely... working three jobs and attending a class at the university on 'russia since 1861', reading a lot and living out of cardboard boxes [hopefully i will remedy that situation shortly]... trying desperately to 'get my shit back in order' [to put it as ineloquently as possible].

i've spent a lot of time alone lately... and i find it strangely comforting to rely on myself for company. i guess i can deem it giving my self a 'social vacation' and all that nonsense... but being around constant gossip is just not fun.. particularly when said gossip is aimed directly at yours truly... no, no fun at all when you really think about it. i'd rather be locked in a room infested with spiders [and coming from an arachnophobic person, that's saying quite a bit]... i am not perfect, nor have i ever claimed to be. i make more mistakes than one could possibly imagine, but this is who i am and if i change, it won't be motivated by someone else's critique of me... i'm satisfied with knowing that i am a work in progress. basta. soapbox nonsense over.

2 comments:

Bottle Rocket Fire Alarm said...

Hey! Welcome back!

Murrye said...

i'm glad you posted again, i missed ya! i've been falling off on posting myself as i'm really busy lately, and i just forced myself to make a really obscure post about being at an "in between" time.. sounds like you're there too.