20050413

i ranched up all over my pants...

tuna fish sandwiches and guacamole... the dinner of champions who like to puke all over themselves... actually, i didn't puke; i just wanted to after i realized what i had just eaten for dinner. this has to be one of the strangest food combinations that i have consumed in a really long time.

it actually reminds me of the milk chug that i was idiotic enough to participate in during my first year of architecture school... dear god, have i come a long way [at least i would like to think that my having developed the sense to not try to make myself vomit on purpose is 'a long way']. what is a milk chug? one could ask. let me lay it all out there for ya'...

during a milk chug, one is required to down an entire gallon of milk in an hour or less... now, this really is much more difficult than one would imagine... given that after you finish about half of a gallon, your body kind of decides to hate you, your stomach deciding that it would much rather act like a tiny lil' version of mount saint helens on a bad day than just cooperate with you in your stupid stunt...

the 3 most important milk chug ground rules:
1. absolutely no skim milk... 2% milk can be acceptable, as long as you are willing to live with the fact that you're a wuss...
2. you may not - at any time during the given hour of the milk chug - vomit on any of the other idiots chugging milk with you. it happens, but it's just not good practice to throw up on people that you are a] friends with, b] working with or, c] stuck in a studio with for the next 5 years of your life. people tend to dislike 'involuntary protein spill' all over them...
3. someone must videotape/record the moronic event so that the participants can look back and enjoy how stupid they once were/still are... recordings can also be used as a valuable blackmail tool later in life...

got milk?

4 comments:

Bottle Rocket Fire Alarm said...

Oh boy! That sounds great. I'll organize a chug party on the hottest day of the year. Mid-July sounds about right.

This is gonna be amazing.

Imogene_Pix said...

I admire this... as I could never ever attempt do it being and inferior lactose intolerant being.

Bobby said...

Yes - always have an escape route planned which leads to a Puke Safe Zone. This advice also applies to life in general really.

honestyrain said...

why does this not sound so hard to me? 'course, there's no way i'd drink even one sip of 2% and half a sip of whole would kill me but with SKIM, oh yeah, skim i could do easy.