whatever tickles your fancy... just keep your fancy away from me.

what a busy little bee i am. in the last few days, i have completely re-designed my studio project with three weeks left in the semester [slightly frightening but nonetheless invigorating...], learned to knit on thursday and am in the process of making a beautiful and beautifully soft scarf-like-thing, went bowling on wednesday for just a bit and learned that beer makes me a much better bowler [i improved my average 30 points over the course of 4 games... for a whopping total of 164. giggidy giggidy, all right.], learned a new juicy piece of software yesterday that looks as though it may end up making my life a whole lot easier, actually did laundry [impressive, i know... until you find out that the newly-cleaned clothes made it so far as an open spot on my floor... who needs wrinkle-free clothing in the first place? not i...], and am currently at work. and amidst all of this pseudo productivity, i am also fighting off what seems to be another bleeding cold... again... what joy is mine.

... must be productive... have a shit-tonne of drawings and model-things to do before monday morning. i have also reaffirmed that the concept of the 'weekend' is non-existent in architecture school... kind of sad, really, because i do so love to have the option of doing absolutely nothing for a couple of days in each week... c'est la vie... i only have three more weeks of studio... EVER.

that's the way we get by... the way we get by... oh yeah.

chucky cheese's is one creepy place... and kids actually want to go there. chucky cheese and all his little robot minions look evil - what with all the clicky eyes, matted down synthetic fur and the creepy music videos... wow. i mean, don't get me wrong - i loved chucky cheese's when i was a child, and it really doesn't get any better than playing ski-ball [rather poorly, i might add] until you win a shit-tonne of tickets so that you can, in turn, exchange them for a useless but nonetheless cool toy at the toy counter, but good god... in hindsight, i should have been utterly terrified. on top of the strange characters in robot form, you've got all of the slightly awkward employees who stand around and stare, somewhat mindlessly [don't blame them, really... given that a job such as that would probably bore one to tears], and all of the 'older' crowd that seems to find itself in places like chucky cheese's [where a kid can be a kid] and should probably require some sort of police escort or some such nonsense. [wow, was that one hell of a run-on sentence or what? i'm on fire, people... oh yeah.]

i did find it interesting to realize how small everything seems inside chucky cheese's now... when i was a kid, everything seemed simply gigantic and flashy and overwhelming. now, it just seems slightly run-down and full of really tiny little games. even the ski-ball contraptions seemed to be on a miniature scale. this is rather significant to me, given that i am somewhat vertically challenged [commonly called a 'midget' even though i stand at the rather average height (for a girl) of 5'-4"] and most things and people tower over me... all this has led me to believe that the world is slowly shrinking [probably another side-effect of global warming and such] and that chucky cheese's is the first place where the results of said shrinking are beginning to register. you'll see - by march, the eiffel tower will stand no higher than my waist. just wait... it'll happen.

rewind... reload.

i just realized that i haven't updated my 'things in print' or 'things to listen to' sidebars since i was in rome. needless to say, i've read a lot since then [i've only put up the stuff i've read since august] and i'm listening to different stuff [still have the old stuff, of course... but i'm just in a different mood and whatnot]... so if you're interested, it's over there [look to the right and scroll down]... and if you're not, oh well... because it's still over there.

cheers.

... but they never ask why.

i can't stand liars - mind you, not fibbers, as some fibs can be funny or at least not mean-spirited. it's the balls-to-the-wall, i-obviously-have-no-respect-for-you-as-a-friend-or-at-all-type of liar i am speaking of here. it's the i-have-the-audacity-to-blatantly-lie-straight-to-your-face-without-any-regard-for-you-at-all-type... just so i'm clear. i guess that it's probably because i am a trusting person, particularly with the people i consider friends. i believe what people tell me because i shouldn't have any reason to distrust them. is that so wrong? that i would [once again] believe that people are inherently good and that they aren't all scum-bags and bastards and - well, you get my point. apparently so, because i somehow end up getting the short end of the stick in a lot of i-could-be-honest-with-you-but-i-can't-seem-to-make-myself-care situations. [note: i do sincerely apologize for the excessive use of hyphenation here, but i'm slightly pissed - no, i'm really pissed - and they seem to be working for me.]

that's the other thing: i actually felt bad for being angry... and i have every bleeding right to be angry that someone i consider a fairly good friend would flat-out lie to me. not once, mind you. many, many times. i think, most of all, i feel disrespected... maybe even slightly humiliated... i suppose that i just have to accept that people can be bastards and then move on... because i'm done being a fucking doormat. done.

gravity always wins

there's the saying, 'work smarter, not harder.' imbedded in this philosophy is a flaw. the only problem with the whole working-smarter-thing is that one must normally work much dumber first in order to figure out how to work smarter. learning from your mistakes takes time... i don't have time, damnit... i need a shortcut [hint: donations in the form of suggestions are most welcome].

i have this new personal theory that the upstairs computer lab in vol walker hall is an energy-sucking-vortex and that autocad [aka satan reincarnate] is working in league with this vortex to make sure that i have absolutely no inspiration or motivation or drive, etc. it's a bloody conspiracy, i tell you. someone must put an end to it... i'd be that person - it would probably be best if i was that person, considering that it's my problem and whatnot - but i haven't the time [notice a theme here? lack of time, maybe? ...could be]... anyone up for the job? i pay in the form of substantial amounts of alcoholic beverages and home-cooked meals... tempting? damn right, it's tempting.

you know you want to... all the cool kids are doing it. [how's that for peer pressure?]

effing right!

sox win! sox win! three cheers for the freaking white sox: hip hip hooray! hip hip hooray! hip hip hooray! i love my sox! my boys are all off and winning world series games and stuff... almost brings a joyful tear to my little eye...

and now... holding my breath until tomorrow night and back to CAD.

i don't know why i feel so tongue tied...

all work and no sleep makes natalie a very delirious girl... and what's more? it's sleeping weather [cold, cloudy... the kind that makes it even more difficult to peel myself out of my bed in the morning, yeah. that kind] - it's like it's taunting me... ha ha ha. you can't sleep. you want to so badly... but no. none for you. autoCAD for you. ha. ha. ha.

on another note - i honestly believe that some people just shouldn't be allowed to get tattoos. these people fit into one of the following categories: 1] the ones that walk into ye olde tattoo shoppe and walk directly to the wall covered in ye olde standard dumb-fuck tattoos and/or catalogue and pick out some random image that holds no personal meaning and often fits into the realm of the retarded and cheesy. 2] the ones that walk into said tattoo shoppe [yes, the extra 'p' and the 'e' are intentional... i do know how to spell shop... thank. you. very. much.] and proceed to be drunk and bitchy to the artist behind the counter while aforementioned artist is currently working on someone else's body art. gaffaw. 3] the ones that walk in and ask for 'a four-leaf clover that's unique' or some other analogous nonsense and then proceed to scurry over to the 'wall'. yeah, sweetheart. real unique. 4] the ones that walk into the 'shoppe' ten minutes before closing time and demand a tattoo.

hint: don't mess with and/or be rude, inconsiderate, condescending, patronizing, etc. to the people who do the following: a] serve you food. - spit and other things can be easily disguised as 'special' little additions to your favorite dish. yep. uh huh. they can. b] keep you from dying [doctors and such]. - there are some pretty scary diseases out there and if you get one, you'll want to have the knowledge that you haven't done anything to make said doctor-person wish you ill will. c] people who will be prodding your body with needles repeatedly to leave a very permanent image or hole. - you never want to hear 'oops,' 'aw shit,' 'well, maybe no one will notice' kind of things or sniggers from people in the tattoo shoppe. it normally doesn't forebode well...

it's just common sense... the people with the power and potential to punish you for not being descent, compassionate, considerate human beings should not be screwed with...

it's a new dawn. it's a new day... and i'm feeling good.

the world is about to go to sleep. the cold, crisp air blew in my bedroom window this morning and all i could do was sigh. i love winter... it seems as if all the world's potential is recollected and in waiting for the whole season. the air is cleaner, the light changes - surrounding everything in a cool, soft glow; all is more fresh. the ever-racing pace of the everyday seems to slow down for a breath - a deep, cleansing, satisfying breath. the sky seems more clear, even when it's cloudy outside... the night sky radiates a deep, velvetine indigo - a cold, quiet fiery blanket - and the world sleeps for a while... if the season could have a soundtrack, it should be filled with jazz... filling every space with sultry sounds of a rich and raspy voice, laced with hand-strummed guitar and an intoxicating, brushed beat. at rest and drinking it in...

i can't think for you anymore

my life has been a collection of busy nothings of late. my ipod is dead... woe is me. i think i got food poisoning from a really sketchy serving of buffalo wings on monday. had a critique on friday. slept all freaking day on saturday and then ate bbq and drank beer [as we actually had a weekend off for the first and last time all semester]... yeah. i'm really boring. i go to school in the morning, stay at school all day 'doing work' [i say 'doing work' because most of the time i'm so tired and/or frustrated that i just end up staring at my desk and 'doing nothing'], go home to eat dinner, work on the cnc mill and/or laser cutter, stay up all night 'doing work,' and repeat the whole miserable excuse for an existence ad nauseum. ok, i'm through whining, i promise...

ok, i'm going to 'do work' now... or something. over and out.

screw jimminy... my conscience needs a rest.

tired. really behind. been meaning to post. been lazy and haven't posted. would be sorry save for the whole lazy-thing. will post something of substance later tonight. have stories. must share. peace out. homie.